I'm so angry with my mother right now. I'm hoping by blogging about it, I will calm down. I love my mother and we get along great, however, I don't feel like she supports this diet change at all.
Here's my analogy: a drug addict decides to get sober. He's having a particular bad day so he calls his sponsor. He's telling his sponsor he doesn't feel good and his sponsor tells him to smoke a joint; it will make him feel better. That's how I feel like when I'm talking to my mom.
It usually doesn't have anything to do with me telling her I'm not feeling well. In fact, I usually try to avoid the subject of the diet. She's usually the one that brings it up and she usually does it by asking a question. The question usually has something to do with when will we be done with the diet, or when can Shawn eat _(insert junk food here)___ again, do I think it's helping Shawn, etc.
Once, I did tell her I wasn't feeling well. I was in a funk. I still don't think I'm out of the funk yet but I'm definitely over the hill on the down slide to back to normal. Her suggestion was to eat some comfort food because it will make me feel better. I didn't say anything then. I just kept quiet. Every time we talk she slips in a comment that makes me feel I have to defend my reasons for being on the diet. Tonight, I just exploded and told her how I felt. She asked if after a year if Shawn would be healed. This may sound like a reasonable question but this isn't the first time she's asked it.
I told her everyone is different and I don't know when Shawn will be healed and she shouldn't need to worry about that. Quit asking me!!! I told her I didn't feel like she supports me with the diet (which she doesn't) but she got her feelings hurt and took it as I said she doesn't support me. She tried to turn it back around and told me she did support me but she was just being honest. She doesn't agree with me about this diet, blah, blah, blah. Duh, I know you don't agree with me. You make it known every time we talk about the diet. Hence the reason I said you don't support me with the diet.
I guess now I'm supposed to feel guilty because I upset her but I don't. I'm angry! I know she loves me but I still don't see why she's so concerned with the way we are eating. It's way more healthy then the Standard American Diet. It's only difficult because we are addicted to the bad food we've grown up with. Not all countries eat the way Americans do. Since I've started this diet I've become enlightened about our food system. It's scary stuff and I'm so glad I'm not feeding my kids that stuff anymore. She told me tonight the reason she wants us to quit the diet is because it's an inconvenience to her. What???? I'm the one doing all the cooking and researching. We're the ones spending all kinds of money on food because we can't buy the cheap processed foods anymore. I think that's what I'm so angry about is that she thinks it's an inconvenience to her. She complained that she couldn't have us over for dinner anymore or take her grandson out for pizza. First off, she could have us over for dinner. She just doesn't want to fool with cooking legal foods for us. It's not that difficult. We eat regular meat and veggies (just not out of cans or boxes). We just have to be careful of how it's cooked and what seasonings are used. I guess that's too much of an inconvenience for her. We've had them over for dinner quite a bit so it's not like we never eat dinner with each other and when ever they keep Shawn for the weekend (which has only been once since we've been on the diet) we send all his food with him. It's not like she has to be so inconvenienced to cook him "special" food. The only real inconvenience is that it forces them (when they are keeping him) to make him eat the food we send. They can't let him eat powdered doughnuts all day like they used to. Shawn doesn't usually eat willingly but he's gotten a lot better than in the beginning.
The lack of support makes me want to be a hermit. It's just easier than having to deal with other people thinking I'm a horrible parent because I'm making them eat healthy!
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2 comments:
As long as you're feeding your children a healthy diet, and they are growing properly, there is nothing wrong with what you are doing. And your doctor agrees with what you are doing, so who is your mother to think that it's so terrible?
I once had another child's mother tell Sarah in front of me that I was a "mean mother" because I wouldn't let her drink sodas or eat junk food like chips. Lucky for me, Sarah was smart enough to know that I restricted what she could eat because I wanted her to be healthy, not because I was mean.
I totally feel for you Karen. I have the same issue here with my parents and I can't escape from them because we live under the same roof. Then my husband has to throw his impatience around too. It's not easy, but you'll be happy you stuck with it and beat the odds.
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